Past Weekend, part II

OK, so I said there was more.

4) I was personally saddened by the loss of Elesha Debenport last week. Elesha was 5 and the daughter of Tony, who I was in the Corps with back at A&M. Yeah, only one semester, but enough. I hadn't been in touch but came across an article about her condition in the local paper. They had a caringbridge site set up to keep folks informed. She had been cleared late last year but the cancer came back and came back aggresively. Tony had prayed to have Elesha at his home before Jesus took her back to her final home and was blessed with several month of time with her. From what was written, Elesha was amazing. The last few days were painful, and frustrating as they waited. But the final end was peaceful and they were together. Tony has been through seminary and had planned on going to work as a missionary in East Asia before this illness. I took the whole family to the funeral. Emily took it the hardest. She just turned 10 and she's old enough to question why but not old enough to make it all fit, or even understand the emotions going on inside her. The kids all wanted to know, was that person in the casket really dead? Was that her real body? Tony had some great comments about his daughter and didn't have to stress where she was, or the hope that Christians have in such situations. I grieve for his loss all the same. And I hope and pray that I will never know the depths of his own grief.

Trying to connect the dots...

The thing that I kept coming back to is from the beginning. I don't spend enough time in prayer, or cycling, or with my kids, or reading the things that I need to be reading, or even getting out thoughts in this blog. OK, I know, join the club. Pass the cheese to go with my whine. But it seems like something is afoot. I really, genuinely miss the times from my young adulthood where it seemed every step I took was something new and special from God. Like I was still being led to something. Where I am now doesn't seem to be leading to something, it's just stagnant. Maybe this is the crux of the crisis of mid-life. But I don't want a new car or a new wife or to drop my job or anything. I just want to be led somewhere. And maybe the job thing might change, but I feel the need to find the void and gaze out at it. Sorry, that's the image I've heard attributed to Kierkegaard. Life is a featureless plain that stretches out in all directions. After traveling through it, you come upon the void. The plain just stops and there is nothing out in the void, except God. You don't see Him or hear Him, you just know in your gut that He's waiting for you. You have to jump off the plain and into the waiting arms of God. Folks call that Kierkegaard's Leap of Faith. I look back and see that played over and over again in my life. Right now things are too safe. Bills are being paid too frequently. We've got a Suburban out front for crying out loud! Maybe there will be more on this later. That's not entirely up to me, though.

Past weekend

I don't blog enough, I don't pray enough, I don't ride my bike enough, and I don't read my Bible. Anyway, enough of the pity party, that's now an official to do list. Here's what we got to do this weekend.
1) We joined the ranks of folks slowly killing the environment with an SUV. I hate to do it but we had to. Six kids + two parents = more butts than seat belts in either of our mini-vans. So instead of us always taking two vehicles to church or out to eat or to Grandma's, we'll be actually saving the environment by taking a Suburban! Got a nice one from Lynn Smith in Burleson at a nice price. As with any place that sells cars, you might get a nice guy or you might get a guy with previous convictions. From the folks that I saw at Lynn Smith, they seem to be a nice bunch of guys. Fairly honest for the profession. I also had a nice experience at Moritz of Ft. Worth, but they didn't have the Suburban I wanted for my budget. The guy who told me he didn't sing or dance did seem to sing and dance a bit at the end. I could dish dirt on two other places. Stay away from Bankston and Longhorn Dodge in FW. Just stay away.
2) There's another couple at our church that have six kids. The Tocci's. I won't link to their blog because that would presume too much. I introduced myself to them after Mass on Sunday. Really nice folks. They have the 15-passenger van and told me that they are going for 10 kids. My goal was five and we have six, so I really don't have any further goals in mind other than to please God.
3) I finished Jeff Cavin's biography. The beginning wasn't that great. Some of the later stuff was really good, though. The part dealing with his ministry in a Protestant church seemed thin. Thin from a detail standpoint and like he was a bit thin on his theology as a Protestant pastor. I think that may have been from trying to make Protestant theology seem incomplete, but he might just have wanted to gloss over that time to shield his former flock. I was envious of some parts though. Hold that thought...

Denton Crit

Joseph did well at the Crit race in Denton this week. Crit races are timed races around a short course. After a few laps, they determine how fast the leaders are going and count down the last five to ten laps. Figuring out who is what place can be very challenging when there's a bunch of young'uns out there, some aged 17 and able to hang with the big guys, some aged 10 and barely able to reach the handlebars. Add to the mix that Joseph was only really racing against the other 10 to 12 year old boys. And it was wet. It was raining off and on all morning. Very slick race. Joseph ended up falling at about four laps to go and lost about three places. If he had fallen at 6 laps to go he would have gotten a break and a free lap. So I need to teach him to fall earlier, or at least to go ahead and take chances early and be conservative late. As it turned out, they miscount his laps or something, he ended up 5th of 12 and I think he was more like 9th. Maybe 10th. I left before seeing the standings, otherwise I would have protested. Anyway, it was absolutely fabulous to see him flying around the course. He never gave up, he pushed himself the entire way, and he's getting faster. I'm excited for him. Kim and the rest of the kids got to come. Allison made a note-card sized flag out of paper that said "Go Jo!" and had a bicycle on it. There were lots of folks there hanging out and spectating. Great event, hopefully next year it will be dry. Got to see Joey Spragins of trinitybicycles.com. Chris M. of TBI was there but decided not to race in the deluge. I even saw a former "kid" from my wife's MS math teaching/my Youth Minister days. He's a Cat 4 who was sandbagging with the 4/5 race. Dan, you are a wimp. Almost as much as a wimp as Chris, at least you raced. We had some ice cream afterwards and everyone came home tired and cranky and wet and cold. Had to doctor Joseph's road rash with some Tegaderm. Great day. Fabulous day to be a dad.

HHH recap

Did the Hotter than Hell last weekend. Wimped out on the 100 mile, only did the 100 k, about 62 miles. Still whipped me. After about 45 miles I just ran out of power. Finally got some strength back after the 58 mile mark or so. Finished about the middle of the pack I guess. Probably averaged about 15 mph including all the time at rest stops. Took Joseph to race. We stayed over at the West Side Baptist church, thanks to Scott Eager for setting us up with a place to stay. Joseph accidently did 40 miles instead of 26 for his race, got a little sidetracked there. Needless to say, he finished about 35 minutes after everyone else. Great event, great time, went with some great folks. Ready to do it again next year.

Startle Grams: Cleaning up the Lord's house

Startle Grams: Cleaning up the Lord's house

Hey, let's go overboard so we can look less extreme than someone else! Straw man theory of theology.

Busted!

My seat broke. On my bicycle. Miles from home...
I've never broken a seat before, or a "saddle" as cyclists call them. This one just didn't like the fact that I am a clydesdale. 6'6" and 250 lbs. The saddle has a frame shaped like an A, with two cups holding the cylinders of the rail in back and another cup in front, on the top of the A. The cup on top split down the middle and when I got up out of my seat, the seat came up with me. Thanks to the guy who got me into cycling, office mate Chris M., who picked me up and gave me a ride home. The saintly wife was at the water park with the kids.
It was a nice seat. I didn't think I would like it but I really did. You can see a picture of a new one here. Yeah, it looks tiny, but it really works well, very comfortable if you can believe it. I got it used off of a local pro who was selling off stuff to pay bills. I had another saddle at home, but it's too padded. I feel like I'm bouncing when I ride. With the nice van in the shop I did 100 miles last week and 70 this week just in commuting. The van is back and fine, but I think I'm going to keep on riding. Maybe I won't be such a saddle breaker.

Last weekend's incident = this week's pain

So last Friday, I was asked by a youth in the church choir to be his Confirmation Sponsor. Nice guy, Jeff. Afterwards, we're going out to get a bite to eat, and a totally unconnected teen girl driver decides that some totally unconnected teen guys in a truck in front of us are cute. What else does a teen girl do when she sees some guys in a truck and thinks that they are cute? That's right, get in front of them and perform a brake check. Twice. We passed the first one but not the second. So now the "nice" van is in the shop. It should cost us about $1900 or so to fix. Paint will have to wait for another paycheck or two. So, in order to sustain family harmony, my wife and five children are using the "not-so-nice" van and I use my bicycle. It's only about 12 miles each way, but in my '92 Astro that's close to five bucks in gas a day. I was leaning towards doing this for a while this summer anyway, to get in some more miles. So I pedal, and I ache, and when the wind is just right and I'm on the downward side of the hill, I fly.

Fr. Todd's Funeral

Wow, this one was nice. It was awesome to be there, there must have been 25 priests, three bishops. Long drive from here to Austin, not as long as some folks had though. Marcel and Greg R. came in from Lubbock. Several priests flew in from Sioux Falls, SD. Nathan was there from St. Paul with his wife and youngest. Some folks from up the road in College Station, and some priests from the Austin area who knew Fr. Todd when he was just Todd. And I felt guilty for enjoying all of their presence. I don't think that Fr. Todd or his family mind. He was a great guy. If you haven't checked out his blog yet, do so. Fr. Patrick Serna's remarks from the funeral were posted as an .mp3. Awesome. Fr. Todd lived his life preparing for his moment of death. He was ready to go. I have been asking him to pray for me, for my family and my children. Maybe one of my boys may wear a collar one day. Or maybe Fr. Todd will help me out with my blog.

Some things I learned on the trip:
There is no rush-hour traffic on I-35 between Waco and Hillsboro. Cub Scout's honor.

Gas is only $2.59 in some localities in Texas.

My '92, 195k mile Astro van can get up to 19 miles per gallon. Must have been a tailwind.

When I have to ride 200 + miles by myself, with noone else to talk to, I get a bit self-centered. No, more self-centered than I already am. Positively narcissistic.

Dave Jones knows something about everything, and probably that something is more than you know. Because he files away everything he hears, file away everything he says.

Fr. Todd was ready. Weekly confession ready. I think I know where I'll be this Saturday afternoon.

This weekend

Allison has an indoor soccer game at 3 today, Joseph has a race at 12-ish tomorrow and another state race Monday at 3. Then I'll be off to Fr. Todd's funeral on Tuesday. Gotta leave early for that. Anyone else coming down from D/FW to the funeral? Not that anyone other than me reads this. I guess just a rhetorical question, that.

Fr. Todd Reitmeyer, RIP

Man I'm going to miss Todd. He was great. He was this huge guy with a keen mind. He never shied away from a debate and he never tired of explaining the truth. I knew him from A&M. I think I met him through Nathan M., another St. Mary's guy whom I esteem greatly. But the best thing about Fr. Todd was that he blogged. He blogged like crazy. He knew that he had a life that others were interested in and that he had the opportunity to share. He actually started blogging before there were blogs, founding the aggiesaway website. After that, he went away to seminary and finally on to Rome where he started blogging. Getting ordained forced him to change the domain name to Fr. Todd dot com. I got the email last night about his death and read it this morning. Fr. Todd didn't get the chance to keep up with all of his friends from college or from Rome, most of that was our fault (it was certainly a fault of mine), but through a blog he enabled us to all keep up with him. He was more than just some guy I remember from college who got ordained (I know some of those). He was still in our conscious mind, still sharing his vital life. Really going to miss him.
Kim, my wife, noted that she feels like Satan is up to something. We've got one friend who's encountered a recent brain anurysm and now is having heart problems in the hospital. Another in the hospital with doctors scratching their heads about why she won't wake up. And then Fr. Todd dies. I told her that there is one crucial difference. Our friends are sick, they are hurt, their families are a mess, but Fr. Todd is home. It's where he always wanted to be.

More comments at Todd's blog, at Marcel's blog, and a nice memoriam at aggiesaway.

DANG it!

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/local/12114615.htm

Bishop Joseph Delany was a nice guy. I'm going to miss him. I remember when I first met him. There was a Diocesan new employee orientation, so all the new Youth Ministers, Catholic school teachers and such showed up. He walked in and I expected him to say a few words, maybe to pray, and then leave and go to "bishop stuff," whatever that is. He said a few words, and then asked us to open up our orientation packets, where he started leading us through the workshop. He never handed it off to anyone. He ended by asking if we had any questions. The only one I could think of was "Do you know how intimidating it is to have a Bishop ask you if you have any questions?" He still remembered me, would call me by name when he saw me. "Hullo Bull, how are you?" He was never a softie but he was never cold. I'm gonna miss him.

Lame Blogs

Don't you hate those lame blogs, the ones where noone posts except the blog owner? And they don't even post regularly? Lame lame lame...

Mother's Day

Dang, I haven't done anything for my Mom this week. No $$ in the bank, so I guess she'll get a call. My wife was kind enough to show me what I got for her. It came in the mail with all the jewelry that she sells. Easy enough, that. My five year-old did make her a killer necklace out of twine and cut up straws. She's an artistic one, that five year-old. Love you, Mom. Love you, mother of our kids.

Back to Skewl

Gotta run, have a paper due any day now. Level 3 switches are about as interesting a topic as mudpies, but at least ole VZW is paying for it.

Yup, I Have Now Proven Something Else I Suck at

Sports wasn't enough. Lame music wasn't enough. Now I'm narcissitic enough to add public humiliation for my ideas and views on life. Hooray Beer!!